Heard around the house

I saw a friend's post about funnies her kids' have spoken, and I decided it was high time I put some of these in print.

1. Anytime a member of our family discusses something that seems hard to believe, our "Little Middle" always responds with..."for real life?"

2. Setting: Funny Farm backyard
Plot: Housecat has escaped and worried children are calling frantically around the yard, "Jazzer, Jazzer, where are you?"

Jazzer, said housecat, returns with twitching lizard tail sticking out of his mouth. Not wanting to deal with another throw-up episode (previous day upon this sneaky little creatures escape and consumption of something disagreeable to housecats), mother grabs cat and begins shaking in an effort to have him drop lizard. Kids are disgusted by tail twitching.

Cat finally drops lizard. "Big Big" yells, "EWWWWWW!!!!!" Big Middle is making cool boy noises having to do with a cat eating a lizard. Little, Little is concerned with cat and......
That same Little Middle from above points at lizard and very sweetly says, "Can I hold it?"

3. Mom announces in after-lunch-instructions that she was not able to get her shower earlier this morn and is going to take one while Little Little is napping.
Big Big says to mom, "No, Mom. You don't need a shower."
Mom: "I don't?"
Big Big: "No, Mom. What you need is a bath. A nice, hot bath."
Mom: "Why do I need a bath?"
Big Big: "Because you are tired and need a nice, hot, relaxing bath. And I don't care how long we need to play on the computer, you just take your time and take a nice long bath."
 (And can you believe that I almost thought she was trying to be good to me?) HA!*grin*

4. Big Middle slept unusually late for him a few days ago. He is generally one of the first ones awake. Upon FINALLY coming to kitchen where we sat eating our breakfast, he walks over, gives me a big hug and says, "I FEEL SO GOOOOOOD!"
(Ah, yes, sleep is good....so I have heard! *grin*)

5. Setting: Funny Farm dinner table
   Plot: New game Little Middle has devised
   Little Middle: "What's this from?" (she continues to mutter incomprehensible things and really cool noises)
   Big Big: "Barbie?"
   Little Middle: "No."
   Big Middle: "Cars?"
   Little Middle: "No."
   Mom: "Rapunzel?"
   Little Middle: "No."
   Dad: Chooses random movies we may or may not have seen.
   Little Middle: (with GREAT enthusiam) "YES!!!"
And this continues on until Big Big and Big Middle are frustrated with dad always "winning" regardless of movie title.

6. Little Middle has a great way of saying many words.
Mexico became "Me-ki-zo"
Hand Sanitizer became "Hanitizer' (that one I totally get. Why waste all that time saying both words?)
 Guitar became "target"